happy anniversary gayle

Posted on July 3, 2009
Filed Under Family | 1 Comment

212

Happy 10th Anniversary Babies!!! I can’t believe we’ve already made it this far together. The other night I flipped through our 3 wedding albums and it hit me, how much life changes in only 10 years. It must be a really significant chunk of time, you know?  We live a few miles from our first apartment, but our life together has expanded beyond measure. We’re surrounded by different people, certainly better furniture and living space, and then there’s the 2 of us… More grown up in some ways, but still young with so much more in front of us.

And our girls… My little family is way beyond any expectations I had in 1999. You are the sun of that solar system Gayle. I couldn’t conceive of a life 1/2 as fulfilling, fun, or full of love without you in it. Out of any of the skills or jobs I’ve picked up in the last 10 years, being your partner in crime and running this little organization with you is (by far) my biggest source of pride. Hence, the family pics all over the internet, our Christmas cards, etc. I beam with pride and radiate love when I talk about the life we’ve created. Together… My gorgeous wife and I. Of TEN FREAKIN YEARS?!?!?

There’s still so much more to do, and accomplish. I promise that I’ll work harder for these next 10.

All my love, congratulations, and condolences on your first 10 with me…

-Kristoffer, kc, Fer, Daddy Warbucks, Hair Carter, et al.

live show, revised

Posted on July 2, 2009
Filed Under Music | Leave a Comment

kcshow2.jpg

Yesterday by complete chance I discovered the perfect service to transition the site into a live broadcast medium. My vision has been to replace the smoky-bar-with-chatty-drunks live shows with something more slick, and better produced for the Digital Age. More details will follow, but my loose plan is to broadcast live once a week from my studio. It will have to be a time that I can incorporate a live (in studio) audience, and also make it ideal for peeps in different time zones. Still thinking about the timing thing. If you have suggestions, by all means…

Once the studio is properly rigged and dialed, I’m looking forward to getting all sorts of freaky deaky with the music. Getting back to a full band set up, jamming with friends and heroes, and learning some sick covers is all on the agenda.

What will be really cool about the live broadcast, is that it integrates a real time chat by all viewers far and wide, which I’m sure will  guide all the proceedings. It will be like the Subservient Chicken, except with ROCK. :)  Can’t wait to roll this sucka out.

wired with explosives

Posted on June 30, 2009
Filed Under Well Being | Leave a Comment

I still enjoy the frantic pace of hopping planes to different cities, although I understand why it can eventually drive people crazy. The key is to move up your must leave the house now time to allow yourself plenty of leisure in getting to the airport, through security, and all the rest. There’s a nice flow when you hit the highway as the sun comes up, out before client demands and emails start hitting the inbox. These are my moments to revel in the ridiculousness of it all. The travel, my job, the fun that waits at both ends. Once the caffeine connects with the gratitude all bets are off. I would say that 90% of the time I walk through security, it’s with a genuine grin on my grill. I’ve  only been searched once in my last 60 or 70 flights. That’s only because my guitar (that sometimes accompanies me on business trips) looks like it’s wired with explosives.

Speaking of wired with explosives, seriously, how many kickass things are moving around us right now? I don’t limit “us” to myself and my family you know. It’s the universal Lovefest baybay. Are your explosives set to self-destruct? Is the goal to take as many out with you as you can, or are you just now starting to feel your true potential gurgling up inside? My life feels like it’s been a steady diet of Coca Cola and Pop Rocks. They’ve been fun and sweet to consume, but I’ve often woken up feeling drained or empty. But the years of accumulation can’t really be denied. I would work hard to sell myself on mantras like “there’s so much more fun to be had”, “light as a feather”, and “no idea how i’ll get it all done but i’ll most surely have shit tons of fun”. Yes, they also sound completely ridiculous to me. :)  The time eventually passes and every peak and valley of human experience passes through as well. We count flowers on the walls, unaware that these massive glaciers are in fact moving. In the hours we sit waiting for something/anything to arrive, the slightest moment of silence reveals the truth: holy smokes, I’ve chosen to mix up this singular bag of madness and wonder, to create this unique experience for myself and for the people around me. The least I can do is not sit here and wait for any of “it” to arrive. I’m going to do some pretty weird, wonderful shit. Hence the house concert, the Fort Wayne pilgrimage with Harvey, the culmination of getting this record out.

On the plane last Thursday the caffeine in me made some maniacal lists (4 full pages) of all the stuff that’s currently going right in my life. I can’t quantify what a welcome reprieve that is from the other side of the coin we all look at as true reality. Funny how so few would take the time to do something like that, myself included. Even as I write this I’m justifying the act, like it’s the work of a crazy man. You will knock yourself over by taking that kind of inventory once in a while. All of these seemingly disparate pieces of your life start shining and aligning. What was implausible a few weeks ago starts happening without even working very hard. Only because you finally notice how well you have it.

I’ve been aware lately how fortunate we’ve been to come back into orbit with our distant friends. It would be corny of me to say there are no accidents, but the scale of it is unbelievable. You can attribute part of it to us living in an area that’s idyllic in the summertime, and that most of these people have to come back at some point. But what about reconnecting with people in Chicago and NYC, the digital age erasing any physical distance if we let it?

Time and distance eventually yields to love. You can print that and put it in your peace pipe baby.Wait for no one, or no thing. Love everyone and everything in the meantime.

hamell house concert

Posted on June 22, 2009
Filed Under Music | Leave a Comment

ed hamell house concert

Posted on June 22, 2009
Filed Under Music | Leave a Comment


for the joy it brings

Posted on June 16, 2009
Filed Under Music | Leave a Comment

We grow up on the scholastic calendar, where the fun officially kicks in at this time of year. You walk home from school (work) that last day, maybe get into a shaving cream fight, and then you have 3 months to ride your bike from the pool to your house, to your friends’ houses. Does that calendar cycle still affect our work habits? I remember the rude awakening after college when I realized there won’t be Summer’s Off moving forward. That doesn’t mean you can’t bring a can of shaving cream to the office and blast in your secretary’s face.  Go nuts. I work from home, so I have to settle for using it to actually shave.

My travel schedule is intensifying over the next 6 weeks, taking me to Chicago at least twice, NYC, Boston, and possibly Charlotte. That doesn’t include the much-anticipated Family/Chill time in the Outer Banks, NC.  I told a friend this morning that even though I still get giddy at the thought of travel, (the sense of adventure and what not)  there’s no doubt that it compresses your home life into really short weeks. Like, 2 days… to mow, laundry, re-pack, share meaningful time with the kids, etc. Trust me, I’m not complaining. It’s just insane sometimes. Things are actually better than they’ve ever been.

I’ve been reminded numerous times lately that we’re actually living the lives we wanted only a few years ago. Somewhere in my office I saved a rant I typed out in the Fall of 2006. It was a loose 5 year vision of where I wanted to be. Revisiting this recently blew my mind, because there were all sorts of things that had already been checked off the list (2.5 years in), and many more that seem to be manifesting over the next few months. For example, the part about living in a “fixing up a big, old funky house (in West Akron)  for our family to thrive in… a place where we will host our heroes.” Hamell On Trial is performing in our LIVING ROOM on Friday night, which is a pretty large, nicely refurbished space. It made a good 1984 Prom Gymnasium anyway. My back den will be his dressing room, and Gayle’s already bought his Red Bull. This is pretty insane.

Yesterday I got the first batch of final mixes for Season II, which included a song I wrote forever ago called “Favorite Idiot”. It’s easy to grow apart from the art over time, because you’re always expanding in some new direction. I’ve alternately loved and hated my songs at different points in time, but the goal was always to create something of enduring value, something that wouldn’t become dated to the listener. You have to be careful with Keyboards, or the latest synthy sounds for this reason. Anyway, I shut my laptop for 3:20 and listened to it on headphones. Not only did I connect with the original intention of the song, but Kevin and Josh’s mix packaged everything up perfectly. It sounds like Bryan Adams and Tom Petty and 1987 and 2009. Most importantly, it sounds like me. All of the challenges and time in getting that song to this point turned to dust, and I’m left with the good stuff: the nostalgia, the sessions, the song. Of the songs on the record, there are at least 8 that I’m more excited about than this one. Hold on to your britches, little Krissy Pants. Relax, and let the boomerang return. You threw that sucka wildly far away, and you were probably jacked on caffeine and doing too many things to see which direction it went.

Couple this with album photos, jacket layout, and all of my old music pals popping in and out, everything just feels like its percolating nicely. I passed a large reflective window last Friday morning in Chicago. I was heading from a hotel to a cab, and I was carrying my laptop bag, a coffee, pulling my suitcase, and I had my guitar slung on my shoulder. This is me at 33, this is me in 8th grade, this is me at 19. This is me. This is me. Holy Fuck, this is ME? Still?!?!? Hahaha. At your service. Desk to train to jet to phone to web to signal chain to sub woofer to front of house to porch swing to dinner with my lovely girls. Blessed beyond blessed. When this life has passed, I’ll be happy that it usually bordered on the maniacal.

photo.jpg

photo.jpg

wes cleaver photos!

Posted on June 13, 2009
Filed Under Music | 1 Comment

kristoffer_carter_3

defining, releasing, becoming

Posted on June 3, 2009
Filed Under Well Being | Leave a Comment

Sometimes 33 feels old, but when I think about how much time, trial, and error has been dedicated to defining who the hell I am, 33 years doesn’t begin to cover it. Numbers and our concept of time are an arbitrary measurement. Digable Planets had a sweet jam on their first album that repeats over and over we’re just babies/we’re just babies man, we’re just babies. We alternately smile and scream like babies. We’re way less assertive than babies though. We silently scream beneath our smiles,  letting our troubles and negativity eat us away on the inside, instead of just expressing whatever it is we truly want.

So today anyway, I’ll write off these first 33+ years as the definition of who I am, and what I want. I’ll make better efforts to release and ignore everything else that comes at me that doesn’t vibe with that. Fear and resistance are by far the 2 biggest culprits for most of us. We grow up believing that they are necessary pieces of the puzzle, because every subject or experience came packaged with them. Driving your own car was an exciting premise at 16, as long as you don’t effing kill yourself or anyone else! Being an artist is the ultimate freedom, and all of us are creators of some sort. But why the beliefs that art needs to come bundled with addiction, or poverty, scarcity, depression, etc etc etc? What a steaming crock of shit that was. Hahahahah.

My friend Cassandra, truly a beautiful person inside and out, recently hipped me to Emotional Freedom Therapy. It’s a  heady concept: tapping meridian points in your energy field (the same points that have been the focus of acupuncture for thousands of years), while working through resistant thoughts and feelings.  Like many new discoveries over the last few years, words can’t express how right on time this was, or how deeply I’ve responded to my few experiments with this. Just another tool to help the crap fall away, leaving only that likable diamond inside. By likable, I mean likable to me. By diamond, I mean I’m fucking awesome. :)  We all need reminding that loving and respecting ourselves isn’t vanity. It’s congruent with our higher purpose, with who we really are. Growing up hating parts of ourselves is one of the most accepted, yet damaging things we can endure.

And look, most of us have played that stupid ass loop for so many years that it feels like part of us. I’m a good person, but…. I’m great at what I do, but… I’m talented, but…

BUT…. there will only ever be one of you, and all that you’ve lived will only ever happen on this planet once. We’re all better off because of your footprint, so turn off any voice that tells you otherwise. It’s a Love Fest, baby.

ladders, summer, believing

Posted on June 2, 2009
Filed Under 0 home friday, Inspire | Leave a Comment

June will be an epic month.  Already is in many respects. Can you feel how fast things are changing right now? It’s kind of insane. How many good things are scheduled this month? Does it feel like too many, or do you feel grateful to have such a packed sked? I have no idea how I’ll get it all done, but I have a good idea that I’ll have shit tons of fun. That should be a kids song.

I have no idea how I’ll get it all done
But I’ve gotta good idea I’ll have shit tons a fun

Yeah, it’s most definitely Summer. I tend to feel this way every year between Memorial Day and the official start of Summer. Everyone just wants to do everything now that the weather is decent, so how do you fit it all in? Here’s my policy: Rather than revel in what a busy bastard I am, and turn people down on invitations, I simply say yes to just about everything. Ride bikes 38 miles to Cleveland? Sure. 3 trips to Chicago in 3 weeks? Why not? Hosting a house concert featuring Hamell On Trial for 50 guests? Absolutely. Tear out the front yard for working storm drains? Yes, please. More. MORE. MORE. MORE. You can throw consistent background vocal sessions, raising 2 kids, and planning an Outer Banks trip to that. And then there’s that day job thingy, and running 12 miles a week. Yes. I love it.

What do I want for my list, a medal? It’s ridiculous to even list it all out. It doesn’t really matter. I couldn’t tell you what my list was yesterday, let alone a year ago. We must’ve survived it, eh? We probably grew as people, and should probably dig our surroundings a bit more, yes?

I’ll go on record as saying HELL YES I DO. I honestly love my life way more than when I was 21, or 18, or 8, or 4. It just bursts at the seams with fun shit and awesome people. Here’s a strange excercise that came to me while I was meditating this morning. Fill up a page with 40 or 50 items that start with “I know and believe that….” What do any of us really know anyway? It’s all ever-changing. My page was full of stuff that I’ll accomplish over the next few weeks, months, years. You should try it. Makes you feel like a goddamned Champion of epic proportions.

I’ll tell you one thing: I know and believe that our roof is too high. It makes no sense whatsover to have a basement staircase constructed for Keeblers and roof access designed for the Green Giant. I’m not even afraid of heights, and un-clogging the down spouts was terrifying. My friend William shared a story about his Dad falling off an extension ladder and tearing his nut sack. Fuck, I did NOT need to hear that. Hahahahahaha. It’s giving me some perverse sense of amusement now though, so thanks for writing in William! SERIOUS :: If you, or a loved have ever thought about falling from a ladder and ripping your balls open, please let me know. You’re not alone. I was more concerned with dragging my badly damaged body around the yard, maybe dialing 911 on my iPhone with my tongue. Would that even work?

Wow, life just keeps rambling down the freeway of Love in its Pink Caddy. This is me busting a neutral drop while listening to Aretha.

on the need to fix shit

Posted on May 27, 2009
Filed Under well-being weds | Leave a Comment

Every once in a while someone will email me, or comment on something I’ve written and say “I could use your positive vibes right now.” First off, that’s a compliment of the highest order, and when people open up like that I would do anything to give you anything I have, if I knew it could be of some use. We’re not here to hoard things like money, strength, well-being, or good vibes. Funny how all of those things are constantly in motion, and we tend not to think about them until they’re in short supply. Tides bring them in, tides carry them out. We don’t really own anything. If I have something now that you’re lacking now, help yourself.

So what is it about someone’s positive vibes that we would benefit from? There are people I’m envious of, in how they always maintain an underlying level of calm and happiness. They would tell you that they’re the last people earth you should conjure up some BS feeling of envy for. It’s just how they roll. I’m calm and happy until I’m not, then I clench my teeth in my sleep, or think of ways to push people away while my demeanor stays “calm, and happy.” Regular Joe Unconscious on occasion. I do my best to stay aware however. Aware of my place in the bigger scheme, aware that these little crises come hurtling at us because we needed them to make us stronger. The only wrong choice is to victimize ourselves or say we can’t handle it. We can handle it, and we were meant to handle it, otherwise we wouldn’t have created it.

I’m going through one of those periods where everything around me needs fixing of some sort, and so much of that fixing requires either too much time or too much money. It’s really funny, because you can either sit on your 50 year old porch and see the decay and the maintenance needed, or you can swing in the breeze and realize your porch is bigger than your last back yard. It all gets fixed sooner or later, and sooner or later it lets you know that it’s broken in some other way. The question is if anything really breaks down just to spite YOU, or if it just reaches a point of needing your love and attention? The frustration for me is that I’ve told myself for ever and ever that I don’t know how to fix things. I always had Wayne, or the money to pay someone else. Nothing is going to fall down on our heads, and the wheels shouldn’t randomly fly off the car today. We take on bigger and more complex projects as our lives roll on so we can feel challenged, and hopefully find the gratification in enjoying what we’ve created. The houses get bigger, our families, our roles, and responsibilities…. Suddenly we find ourselves at the center of a vortex of moving pieces that’s more complex and insanely huge than we probably would’ve  planned for ourselves.

You can waste your time contemplating that, or you can invest your time in appreciating that about yourself. You chose all of this that you’re currently living, and nothing is actually broken at all.

I love you because you somehow handle it just enough to smile most of the times I see you, or laugh most of the times we speak.

keep looking »